Harry Potter and the Title We Could Not Think Of
by CRAZYLILDRIVA17
Summary: A spoof of Harry Potter! What will happen when things dramatically change at Hogwarts?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: this was originally a play that me and my friend Bracey Face Anime Gurl were going to do for our leaver's assembly! We decided to change it into a fanfic because we thought you would all like it and you can have a laugh.

SCENE 1 (We're going to do scenes because that's how we originally set it out)

It is our trios last year at Hogwarts and little do they know strange things are about to happen...

Harry was standing outside the library waiting for his friends Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. He was looking forward to another year of Hogwarts School of Spliffcraft and Bitchary. The Library door opened and Hermione stepped out.

"Hello Hermione where've you been?" Harry asked pleased to see his friend. He shouldn't have been surprised at Hermione's answer.

"I've been in the library"

"What b. b.b.but we've only been here five minutes!" Harry replied quite shocked. This was desperate even for Hermione.

"Yes but Harry there's this word!" Hermione tried to explain but was rudely interrupted.

"What word?"

All of a sudden a random first year ran up to Harry with a rather pleased look on his face and said:

"Hey Harry have you seen the new girl in Gryfindork? She's Hot!"

All of a sudden a really sexy girl with a short skirt and red hair came walking very sexily down the corridor head to toe in Gryfindork uniform. Harry's eyes widened as the girl ran her fingers through her hair.

"G.g.g.gg.gg" Harry stammered

"Oh say something then!" Hermione snapped

"Giiiiiiirrrrrrrlllllll!" Harry then finished.

"Oh well done Harry have a sherbet lemon!" Hermione muttered sarcastically.

"Thank you!" Harry said nicking one from the packet and Hermione frowned. The girl then came up to them.

"Hey Harry!" The girl smiled.

"She knows my name!" Harry whispered to Hermione who rolled her eyes.

"Harry its me... Ron!" The girl said after a pause.

"Yeah mate!" Harry said disbelievingly.

"Your not Ron" Hermione scoffed. The girl or Ron as she had told them suddenly looked serious.

"Harry if I tell you something Harry you have to promise not to shout it out at the top of your voice o.k. Harry" 'Ron' said.

"O.k." Harry giggled.

'RON' whispered in Harry's ear and he almost burst out laughing.

"WHAT YOU HAD A SEX CHANGE!" He yelled and the people on the corridor turned to stare at them!

"Shhh!" Ron hissed.

"Haha you're a girl!" Harry chuckled to which Hermione frowned. Ron then grinned.

"Harry look!" He pointed. "I've got tits!"

Harry stared down at them and to which people started giving him weird looks. Harry then quickly stood back up smiling.

"Oh wow they're bigger than Hermiones can I feel them Ron?"

Ron started crying and started making a mass off scene (as girls do)

"No you can't just because I used to be a guy doesn't mean you can take advantage of me now!" She then stormed out. Hermione just stood there with her hands on her hips.

"Oh Harry you NEVER ask to touch a girls boobs!" She stated and then ran after Ron.

"Girls" Harry said moodily and went to follow them.

A/N: O.k. that's one bit done we will now explain how Ron became a girl. When we were going to do it for our assembly we were going to do a spoof but then realised that Rachel would have to be Ron and Rachel being a girl came up with the sex change idea! Well I hope you had a laugh please review and more funny scenes coming soon! In Case you're wondering mass off actually means massive! He he

Reveiw or pothed potter will come to get you!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Rachel is bracey face anime gurl just so you know.

Scene 2

Harry, Ron and Hermione were attempting to make the love potion in potions but as usual Harry felt like he would rather sleep. Snape decided he would take the register.

"Hello I'm Shnape the potions master" Snape said

"We know!" Harry whispered, "Just because he fancies himself," he then muttered to Ron and as he said it Snape got out a pocket mirror and started doing his hair.

"God I'm gorgeous! Anyway register! Hermione Granger!"

"Smells"

"Draco Malfoy"

"Really smells"

"Potter"

"SMELLS!" Harry shouted and started to laugh. "Oh shit that's me err I mean HERE"

Snape then glared at Harry realizing that it had been him.

"Potter I am Shnape get out of my potions class now and because I am Shnape I can send you out of my class which is potions. I am Shnape the potions master.

"WE KNOW!" Hermione yelled.

"Right Granger you out as well because I am Shnape"

Ron held up the script to Harry and Hermione and said "Oh well done you guys you ruined it now!"

"You I don't know your name but you are sexy but not as sexy as me for I am Shnape the potions master I design and make potions. Potion making is what I do because my name is Shnape and I am the potions master. Did you know that I am Shnape-"?

Snape carried on telling the class that he was Snape the potions master and then Ron decided to interrupt.

"Come on Harry and Hermione lets go outside and we could have lots of fun!" The class started to giggle realising what Ron meant, though knew he was joking.

"BYE SNAPE THE POTIONS MASTER!" The trio shouted.

"Yes that is right I am the potions master who is called Shnape. Now ten points from Gryfindork"

"Oh bugar!" Harry said.

"And then fifty points to Dribbelin because I'm Shnape and I'm so hot!"

Deciding to leave Snape with their class who were groaning at every 'Shnape" and potions master mentioned the trio returned to Gryfindork common room.

A/N This is Bracey Face. Okay so the scene didn't originally have that many I am snape the potions master in it, but I think Rebecca Pinhead Snotter Rotter Potter (Crazy Weird Lil Freak) got carried away.

CWLF: HOW VERY DARE YOU!

Bracey Face: Review or she will come to get you. NI!

Cwlf: NIIIIIIII WOM!


	3. Chapter 3

A/n we are great! INCENDIO! So we decided to give u readers a treat because NIII WOM! Yer so here is the third part! Yay!

Scene Three part one

Harry, Ron and Hermione arrived at Gryfindork common room after been chucked out of potions by 'shnape' the potions master. Hermione was in a mass off stress with the two of them.

"Ron you will never be a girl no matter how big your boobs are!" Hermione shouted and then stormed out of the common room.

"Where's she going?"

"Library!" Harry told him.

"It's HER!" Ron called to the director noticing the glitch in the script

"Sorry Ron ba ra rum." The director said.

"IT'S RONELDA! But Ron for short!" Ron said proudly. Harry just stared like a dumbass.

"Anyway Ron now she's gone we can finally do what we've always wanted!" Harry said smiling seductively. Ron stared blankly at the floor for a couple of minutes and then realized.

"Oh yeah!" Ron said giving Harry a sexy look. He gave Harry an air kiss. Harry smiled really wildly and started to head towards the boy's dormitory doing pelvic thrusts as he went.

"I'm going to go get ready I'll see you in a minute!" And then Ron winked at him.

Five Minutes later rude noises could be heard from gryfindork common room as Harry and Ronelda were getting prepared…

A/n moo har har har u will never find out what happens unless I get my review count up to ten! And that doesn't include rachy wachy n me! Yaaay!

Review or else lim will get u!

Thank you very muchly MST kindly of all kindesses

DO WOTS RITE…DNT B SELFISH…DNT B A LIP OR A TOUNGE…B A TOOF…AND REVIEW………………


	4. Chapter 4

A/n: Hello blib blib blib...today is TIME to write down the next scene!

On the last scene of Harry Potter and the title we could not think of...

"Anyway Ron now she's gone we can finally do what we've always wanted!" Harry said smiling seductively. Ron stared blankly at the floor for a couple of minutes and then realized.

"Oh yeah!" Ron said giving Harry a sexy look. He gave Harry an air kiss. Harry smiled really wildly and started to head towards the boy's dormitory doing pelvic thrusts as he went.

"I'm going to go get ready I'll see you in a minute!" And then Ron winked at him.

Five Minutes later rude noises could be heard from gryfindork common room as Harry and Ronelda were getting prepared…

"OH JACK I'M FLYIN!" Ron shouted holding out her arms

"Josephine goes up and down and up and down!" Harry sang whilst flapping Ron's arms up and down.

"Oh Jack! Kiss me!" Ron said. Harry pouted his lips ready to kiss Ron but she pushed him away.

"O.k. 'arry don't overdo it!" Ron said pushing Harry away and then Harry rememembered though Ron as a girl, was sexy she had still been a guy. Just then Hermione came in unnoticed by Harry and Ron.

"I'm not Harry! I am the GREAT SAIYAMAN!" Harry said doing stupid kung fu movements. Hermione sighed in despair.

"Has he been watching Dragonball z again?" She asked Ron.

"NO!" Harry replied quickly. "Ha ha ha I'm Goku and I'm going to turn SUPERRRRRR SAIYAN!" Harry then pulled a face, which made him look constipated.

"Yep" was all Ron said.

"Just because I watch Dragonball z, you think I'm weird and different! Well let me tell you something!" Harry shouted standing up on a chair. He put on a magical c.d player and started to "sing"

I have often dreamed  
Of a far off place  
Where a hero's welcome  
Would be waiting for me  
Where the crowds will cheer  
When they see my face  
And a voice keeps saying  
This is where I'm meant to be

Round about here Harry was always one line behind the actual singing in the song.

I'll be there someday  
I can go the distance  
I will find my way  
If I can be strong  
I know every mile  
Will be worth my while

Harry realised the song was about to end "OH SHIT" he shouted and proceeded onto the last line and did that funny face Hercules does when he says belong.

When I go the distance  
I'll be right where I belong

Hermione and Ron took out their earplugs.

"Thank God that's over!" They both said.

A/N hahahah I bet you all thought it was going to be a sex scene! You dirty minded people! Anyway I'm sure Bracey Face Anime Gurl would have something to say but she is at a singing lesson!

Anyway people do what's right and review...Every time you review you are saving a polar bear: D I love ze Polar Bear...so don't be selfish...SAVE THE POLAR BEARR...RAHHHH!

Thank you most kindly one and all

P.s REVEIW

P.P.S SAVE THE POLAR BEAR...

P.P.P.S I MEAN IT...


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